“Why? Because I’m kind? Sweet? Xander and Christian’s cousin, so you feel bad? Do you feel guilty because, oh, poor Bella had her feelings hurt when you forgot she existed the second Victoria appeared in the room? Well, you’ve made your apology. I’ll never speak of this again, and I’ll always be nice to you when our paths cross. You are cleared. Your conscience is free.”
Camden’s lips part in utter surprise. “But that isn’t what I want.”
Now the flames have reached a boiling point. I’m spilling over with hot, molten anger from years of playing this part, and Camden is about to bear the wrath as I do something I’ve never done in my entire life.
Let go.
“I don’t care if that isn’t what you want!” I roar at him. “This is about me. What I want. I don’t want apologies. I don’t want to be asked for forgiveness and if we can be friends. I don’t want to be the girl men just talk history with or joke with. I don’t want to be befriended by men who are hoping I’ll put in a good word with Victoria. I want to be seen for who I am. I want to be desired for the body I have. I want someone to not only like me for my intelligence but to find equal excitement in my curves. In my flesh. I want someone to look at me and want to kiss me until my lips are swollen out of passion. I deserve to be wanted for all those things, and I might never have that, but I won’t settle for less. I won’t! So take your apology and get out!”
I gasp as soon as the final shout of anger escapes my lips. Camden is staring at me in complete shock, and my anger is immediately replaced by horror.
Hot tears brim on my lashes. I’m shaking all over, trembling like a leaf. What have I done? My God, did all those words come out of my mouth? My throat grows dry. The room has no air.
“I’m sorry,” I manage to get out. “Your apology is accepted. Please go.”
Camden doesn’t even flinch. I notice his chest is rising and falling, too, no doubt in anger.
“Please,” I beg of him.
He doesn’t move. Not even an inch.
“Get out!” I cry in frustration, the tears now falling.
“No,” he says, his voice deadly calm amidst my emotional sea of torment.
My heart sinks in humiliation and despair. I have no choice but to go down this path of truth, as I am the one who set us both on this road.
“I told you what I need, and you don’t want to give that to me. So please forget this happened and please leave me alone.’
Something in him snaps with those words. I can see it in his eyes. Camden strides over to me in the blink of an eye. Before I can think, he takes my hand in his, and to my shock, he quickly leads me to one of the massive oak pillars in the room, whirling me around and pressing my back into it.
“You’re wrong,” he says, bracketing my face with his hands.
I gasp from the shock of his touch. The room begins to spin. Camden Tremblay is now inches from me, touching me. If he weren’t pressing me into this pillar, I’d faint. I’m sure of it.
“Look at me,” he commands sharply. “Bella, look into my eyes.”
I gaze up at him through my tears. My God. What do I see in his eyes? They are sparking with anger, that I can see, but there’s something else there, too.
“I can give you what you need,” he says, his voice raw with urgency. “Because I need it, too.”
And then his mouth is on mine.